I was recently interviewed and featured in a monthly newsletter by Picture Perfect Speaker—a speaker bureau who hires me to inspire audiences—in addition to business I secure myself directly with clients. The article published in the newsletter was entitled, “Backstage with Tracy Stock, CSP.” Here are my answers to some of the questions which provide insight as to why I became a professional speaker as well as significant moments in my life that have greatly influenced my thoughts and actions along the way.

What was your inspiration for becoming a professional speaker? In college I was a Communications Major. One of my professors, CY Allen, taught one of the most loathed classes by most—public speaking. Interestingly, I found myself energized by the art, in awe by his expertise, and I constantly aspired to become better. He definitely challenged me and taught me the importance of preparation and practice…over and over and over. It was by far my most loved class of my college education. I eventually applied that speaking skill as a training professional, then as a Director of Learning & Development, and ultimately paved the path for me to start my own speaking business—which includes both keynote speaking and live/virtual training.

What played a critical role in motivating you to become a professional speaker? In my late twenties, I was focused on climbing the corporate ladder. I had received three promotions already, but wanted more. I couldn’t get from point A to point B fast enough. Life was all about how to become even more successful. Then after enduring some intense traveling pain in my joints, I was eventually diagnosed with Systemic Lupus. My doctor said, “Make changes in your life, or Lupus will make them for you.” After struggling intensely for two years to slow down, my body continued to weaken and I became thin, frail and easily fatigued. Work consumed my energy and what little remained went to my family. I had nothing left for myself. My life was deteriorating before her eyes. I was now facing my fork in the road.

When I heard I had Lupus, I had a choice to make. One option was to wallow in denial, look for pity, think and act as a victim, and make little-to-no changes in my life. After two grueling years, I chose another option. I followed The One Choice Rule and chose to look at this disease as a gift. Had I not become ill with Lupus, I likely never would have slowed down to have my youngest son. Had I not been diagnosed with this disease, I would have never understood how wonderful and meaningful a family’s love and support could be. Had I not been given the unwelcomed news of this ailment, I would have never learned to enjoy the art of landscaping, which happens to be one of my favorite hobbies today. Had I not been detected with this disorder, I wouldn’t know how to relax, whether on a sandy beach or my living room couch. Had I not struggled to hear I had Lupus, I would never have felt compelled to share this story, or become a speaker and author with a desire to help others avoid a similar struggle, or inspire others with feelings of lasting hope and optimism, unwavering strength and resilience, and heartfelt support and love. This one choice I made…changed everything.

What genuinely motivates you? My motivation comes from a positive mindset and attitude, a happy disposition, and an intense desire to live my best life—which includes doing everything I can to positively influence the lives of others.

What makes you unique? In addition to priding myself on being a fun and highly engaging speaker, I integrate interactive activities into every keynote. After sharing a specific key point, I challenge the audience to do something that provides a significant and applicable ah-ha and also allows for easy application professionally or personally. Additionally, if allowed, I enjoy interacting with the audience by asking questions and encouraging interactivity. I provide participation coins in exchange for inspirational and fun prizes they can choose from.

What advice would you give the younger version of yourself if you could? Always remember that the audience is there for your message, not you; so relax, be vulnerable and deliver your message in a way where you truly connect with as many individuals in the audience as possible.

What is one impact you want your life to have? For my two sons to feel as if I guided their lives in meaningful and influential ways and taught them the importance of love and happiness in every aspect of their life.

What habits have you developed that have helped you become a better version of yourself?

• Treat your mind and body with the respect and care it deserves so you can continue to do what you love and live your best life—meaning, get enough quality sleep, eat a nutritious and balanced diet and exercise on a regular basis (six days per week! 😊).
• Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Preparation calms nerves, enhances confidence and helps you nail delivering your message as desired.
• Turn hardships I endure into learning opportunities and then integrate that story into a message.

What are the biggest challenges you face as a speaker? Balancing travel to avoid feeling exhausted.

What was one of the most challenging times, and what pulled you through it? At the height of COVID in March of 2020, my business came to a sudden halt, as it did for most speakers. In the middle of a divorce living in Colorado and now having no income for the unforeseen future, I felt paralyzed and scared. I made the decision to take control of what I had control of and set the uncontrollable aspects aside. In under 30 days, I purchased a new home, moved across country to North Carolina—hiring an essential moving company to transport my belongs and vehicle—and used my newfound “available” time to rebrand my business with a new name, a new business identity, and a new website with all new marketing materials. I learned everything I could about the virtual speaking craft and decided to master this new art, while using video footage to create a virtual demo reel in addition to launching a new live speaking reel.

What pulled me through this difficult time was a statement I share with audiences frequently, which is, “We all face tough stuff. It’s never the tough stuff, though, that does you in; rather, it’s your reaction to the tough stuff.” Then I also remembered a life lesson from my late Mother who was vibrant, positive and extremely resilient who would say, “You can only cry for so long.” I allowed myself 24 hours to cry and feel helpless, and then I decided to formulate a plan and execute it.

What is the greatest lesson you have ever learned? In high school, I lacked confidence. I participated in the school band through tenth grade, playing the clarinet. The last year I played, our band class was invited to perform at a major half-time event. We practiced endlessly, learning and memorizing songs and marching formations. As the big day drew closer, I grew more and more nervous and self-conscious. As I marched onto the field, I made a conscious choice to focus on marching and just pretend to play my instrument. This way I could concentrate better and be less anxious. I didn’t step out of turn, so I succeeded, right? I certainly didn’t feel proud when I marched off the field; I was incredibly disappointed in myself. Can you imagine if all the band students would have mirrored my behavior?

When you have strong doubts and don’t believe in yourself, you tend to expect the worst. Let those self-defeating, negative thoughts go. See a solution in every problem or fear, a possibility in every difficulty or obstacle. When you believe in your talents and your worth, you ignite an emotion that fuels a desire and takes you to another octave.

What would it take for someone to fill your shoes? I don’t feel any speaker can take the place of another one; rather, I believe every professional speaker has unique perspectives, stories and gifts to share.

What is the definition of success for yourself? I look at life as being similar to a game of chess. In chess, every single move reflects a decision. If your decisions are faulty, your position deteriorates and the pendulum swings toward a loss; if your decisions are good, it swings toward a victory. Chess is a game of strategy. To best position yourself to win, you must consider each move carefully. Life is very similar. We face hundreds, if not thousands, of really tough choices throughout our lives. If you choose to align those difficult decisions with your values and what matters most, you will be better positioned to live the life you want to live—which is the epitome of success for me.

Blog by Tracy Stock, CSP

Many of us find ourselves striving for the unrealistic—perfection. Perfection is the enemy of action. Perfection is a mask we wear when we are afraid of failure. Clarity, on the other hand, comes from engagement or action; it does not come from thought. If we move past the need for perfection and begin to focus on achieving clarity through action—instead of just obsessively thinking about what to do—we will get one stride closer to what we want and need.

I was recently interviewed by a speaker bureau and was asked, “What was one of the most challenging times in your life, and what pulled you through it?” I found that question difficult to answer and then reflected on my words after.

At the height of COVID in March of 2020, my business came to a sudden halt, as it did for most speakers and countless others. I was also, though, in the middle of a heart-wrenching divorce. After fleeing my home in Colorado with my two fur babies, with no income for the unforeseen future, and not many friends since moving from WI just a short time ago—my reaction was one of feeling both paralyzed, incredibly scared and uncertain about my future.

Indecision is the enemy of action. Indecision allows us to feel as if we are victims and unable to make a decision; yet, indecision is a decision. Instead, I made the decision to take control of what I had control of and move forward.

In under 30 days, I decided on a state of interest near a large airport, scoured available houses in newly developed communities, purchased my safe new home, and moved across country to North Carolina—while only knowing one person who lived there. I had to locate and hire an essential moving company to transport my belongs and vehicle, while flying with my dogs and a few necessities with one of my sons by my side. I used my newfound “available” time to close one business and launch a newly rebranded one in a different state, created an innovative website with all new marketing materials, and focused on achieving positive outcomes for others…and myself. I devoured everything I could about the virtual speaking craft and decided to master this new art, while using video footage to create a virtual demo reel in addition to launching a new live speaking reel.

What pulled me through this difficult time was a statement I share with audiences frequently, which is, “We all face tough stuff. It’s never the tough stuff, though, that does you in; rather, it’s your reaction to the tough stuff.” My initial reaction was one of fear and paralysis; then I decided to react by taking action—formulating an organized plan and executing it.

Don’t run from, or be kidnapped by fear. Who you are at age 25 isn’t going to be who you are at age 30; and who you are at age 40 certainly isn’t going to be who you are at 65. Realize that making the decision to push through the fear and decide to move forward is healthy. You are not defined by your hard times. You can decide to persevere and come out stronger, more resilient and successful than ever before.

Learn from mistakes and don’t repeat them. Understand the lessons right in front of you. Seek clarity over perfection—knowing you can choose to course-correct as often as needed along the way. When you do that, perfection will be left in the dust and you will find a new, stronger you—one with scrapes and scars—but someone you are incredibly proud of. Pride with clarity trumps indecision and fear every day.