Blog by Tracy Stock, CSP

According to a recent global report, 45 percent of people have not felt true happiness for more than two years and 25 percent don’t know—or have forgotten—what it means to feel truly happy. This statistic is both sad and alarming.

Interestingly, though, roughly 40 percent of an individual’s happiness has been identified as being up to that person. Yes, it is somewhat of an oversimplification to say that every person has this much control of it, but scientists have determined that your happiness level is a result of a complex interaction of genes, behaviors, and life circumstances—meaning the way you spend your time and the thoughts that you allow to live rent free in your mind can really impact your mood and your long-term happiness.

Happiness is not as much a trait as it is a skill, meaning it requires focus and practice to keep it a constant in life. Like golf, if you want to be a great player, you can’t just pick up a driver. You have to practice and continue that discipline to maintain and enhance that skill. If you’re looking for greater joy and happiness in your life, embark on new habits with disciplined practice that can lead to an enhanced prescription for pleasure:

1. Avoid “if only” thoughts. If only I get a better job … find a mate … lose weight … life will be perfect. Happy people don’t buy into this kind of thinking. Instead, practice simple acts of joy often and focus on the good in your life. Being happy is more about feeling content, satisfied, fulfilled, grateful and appreciative over having this or getting that.
2. Teach your lips to say no.  Understand that you are free to say yes or no—or perhaps “not now.” And, when appropriate, you should do so without feelings of guilt, anger or fear.
3. Workout your worry…often. We know that working out is good for our bodies, but research has consistently shown that exercise leads to a release of endorphins which affect mood, and lead to a sense of success and to an improved self-confidence. Try dancing with someone special to experience the positive effects a little exercise offers.
4. Make a joy list. Create a list of activities that bring you joy and commit to doing one of those activities every day. By having a dedicated list of things that make you happy (like going for a walk or visiting your favorite coffee shop), you will always have something to begin each day with to elicit a more positive outlook.
5. Stretch yourself. Choose to tackle a goal today that challenges you. Choose one that is fun and interesting, as opposed to something where you may seek external validation or reward.
6. Have a daily plan. Making a plan each day will help with understanding what you are doing and why you are doing it. It feels good to check off items for the day that you’ve successfully completed and then creates a sense of pride and accomplishment.
7. Engage in mindfulness. Do something “present-minded with complete focus and no distractions.” It can be something simple, and ideally something you do every day—like making coffee, taking your dog for a walk, or making your bed. It’s all about being present, in the moment, and savoring it for exactly what that moment is. This type of mindfulness can help you take on the rest of your day with a calm, positive headspace.
8. Connect with others. The relationships we have with others have an extreme impact on our emotional health and happiness. In fact, making connecting with friends and loved ones are a top priority. A cup of coffee with an old friend, a catch-up session over video, or putting yourself out there by making new friends in your community are all ways to reap those social benefits.
9. Embrace alone time. Connecting with others is crucial, but connecting with ourselves is another important aspect of social wellness. Solitude is a biological need. It supports identity development, intimacy with others, and even promotes happiness. So feel free to take the time you need to recharge your social battery and reconnect with yourself as one.
10. Find a new hobby. Learning something new and discovering that you want to integrate it in your life more often—and perhaps view it as an exciting new hobby—can exude feelings of excitement and joy and it also often helps to enhance relaxation.
11. Volunteer. Rather than donating money (or in addition to), try offering your time and energy with volunteering. The positive emotions felt from helping someone in need is rich and enduring, and the social interaction involved is a strong contributor to happiness.
12. Practice gratitude. While it might seem like happiness feeds gratitude, it actually works the other way too. Practicing gratitude by feeling thankful and demonstrating appreciation for the amazing people and things in our life can lead to feeling more positive emotions and an increase in motivation to make healthier choices.

To have happiness, we need to say ‘yes’ to things that strengthen our relationships, help us contribute to the world, or allow us to master new skills—and learn to resist things that just satisfy our impulses—such as liking a post that we just saw on social media.

Remember, happiness is not about the absence of negative emotion and the abundance of positive ones; it is about pursuing a life of meaning and purpose and living in accordance with your values and what matters most to you.